Hi Haley,

I know very well anxiety. I had it and severe depression (even being in counseling and meds) for years over an ex. I think this is due to “abandonment” issues I had as a child. Perhaps separation anxiety. Did you experience any type of abandonment, rejection, or someone leaving you with no explanation as a child? I did. Over, and over..by several people I loved.

Unfortunately this resurfaces in my adult life when someone ghosts me whether it is online, a short term or long term relationship, the ending of a friendship for no known reason..a sense of betrayal. Even for whatever reason a co-worker stops speaking to me. I want answers, the anxiety to go away asap. However, the answers sometimes never come. I dwell and dwell..the “what if’s” “if only I had done this or that better, he/she wouldn’t have left me”..it’s coming from a wounded child within..the child who never received love from a severely emotionally and verbally abusive alcoholic mother..who would leave us alone for days, fire our nanny, and go on drinking binges. The wounded child of seeing her father leaving on his business trips 4 days a week, grabbing on to him..begging him not to leave (he did not know my mother would “get even” by firing the Nanny who loved us). The pain of the Nanny leaving us and the sadness in her eyes while my mother was screaming and throwing beer bottles. The pain of being separated from my six siblings..then again..the pain..rejection of being left at a boarding school at the age of 16, while I was lied to by the people I was raised with..saying we “were driving to Florida for vacation”. The pain of sitting on my suitcase in the middle of the sidewalk..no explanations..

I don’t think you will unfortunately find the answers you want. If may have had nothing to do with you. Just know that you have your own closure by e-mailing him and asking why? And getting the closure back by knowing he took the cowards way out. Give yourself even more closure by knowing even if he would come back to you..would you want him back? A coward? A narcissist? What if he did this again? You certainly do not want a broken heart again. This can be your closure. Even if he gave you an explanation..would it be the truth? Would you even want an explanation from someone who goes as far as to block you? I know I would not want this for my life. At first, yes, I would want closure, but when someone blocks me, that is extremely cowardly, and that is where I draw the line, and right there is closure. I would stop caring why they broke up with me in the first place. If you are still feeling overwhelmed with anxious thoughts, just observe the thoughts, but don’t become them, they are only thoughts, fleeting, temporary..soon..these thoughts..Will be less and less as time goes by. One day you will go about your day and think “wow! I have not thought about him in two days now” and it only gets better. Be patient with yourself and the healing process. x

• This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Eliana.