Hello Pineapple,

I agree with everything Anita wrote.  Your boyfriend fought for you and stood up to his mother and family for you.  You are getting a good view of what life will be like with your boyfriend’s family if you and your boyfriend try to work things out.

I think it is entirely possible for you and your boyfriend to work things out, and be happy together, but it has to begin with a) your boyfriend being autonomous from his family and b) the two of you deciding what the boundaries will be with his family – specifically his mother.  The title of your post asks “Should I Accept Him?” but what you really need to ask yourself is if you can accept his family and the dynamics that come with it.

For you, your boyfriend is like finding a ruby among a pile of debris, made up of stones, sand, dirt, garbage.  The situation you have here is that you can carry the ruby with you, but you must also take the debris surrounding it and carry it with you everywhere, every day, unless you and your boyfriend make some drastic changes to eliminate the debris or at least carve a very clear boundary around it.  The deeper the boundary, the better.

Airene