Hi John,

We all mess up, and your posts clearly show that you’ve learned from your mistakes. The romantic side of me wants to say follow your heart, write the letter and include a lot of what you’ve shared here, especially this:

Loving someone is giving them what they need when they need it and sacrificing if you have to for that time.  I did just the opposite.  I failed her.  I didn’t see it then, but i do now. I would give anything to go back in time.  If i could of just stepped back and let her come to me instead of constantly up her ass like i was when she was hurting…I needed to be #1 right then and there…

What holds me back from giving you that advice, however, is your current GF. She deserves your total honesty. The way you describe her — wow, she seems really great. You say you love her but not as much as you love your ex, and that you think if you had met her before your ex, you would feel more for her. What if what you really want is right in front of you and you just can’t see it? If not, let her go so she can find someone who is as in love with her as you are with your ex, then go get your ex back.

It’s a tough one. You seem like a really nice guy. Hang in there.

B