Sorry if it’s confusing. Debbie and I are no longer in communications. She has blocked me. I feel that she is unreasonable and unrespectful for going this. It is a really mean thing too do and I think she is ‘punishing’ me for ruin her holiday and this time it’s for real. When I said that I will take up to wish her ‘good day’, that was in the past when we were still together. I can’t text her anymore as she has blocked me. I don’t intend to a anyway. She treated me like dirt and that I can’t accept. However, I really want to talk it out with her on our relationship and things that happened. I want at least a closure. I do not like things to be hanging like this. There is this hole in my heart that need to be plugged. Enough life move on, she still keeps popping into me mind very often. I am trying very hard to keep it at minimum.

As for my children, I am still doing my part as a father. I know they will be affected the most even when my relationship with Debbie had ended. I will make sure they are provided for financially and mentally.

I really need to forget her. It is eating into me everyday. I also feel like i am being mean or vengeful to hope that she get what she deserved. I sometimes hope that she get treated badly and that she realize how good I was to her and she didn’t appreciate it.  Know it’s not nice to have these thoughts. Whatever, good or bad, I need to stop myself from having these thoughts. It’s frustrating.