Dear John:

You asked what do I think about all this. This is what I think at this point:

I think you have a tendency toward the dramatic. Here on your thread, it is as if you are on a stage, presenting your life in such a way so to create the most intense affect in the audience. For that purpose you intensify the expressions of your desperation (repeating “SUCKS” for example, exaggerating how good it was then and how terrible it is now), and so, you stretch the truth to the point of misrepresenting reality.

I think that it will be better for you (and for other people in your life) if you get off that stage. Not off this thread, but off the stage.

At first you represented your current girlfriend as this wonderful woman who makes you happy and who is perfect for you, and if only you didn’t think and feel  so much for your ex girlfriend, all would be wonderful with your current girlfriend. But this is not reality: your current girlfriend has a drinking problems, has fights with her minor children and so, if you were to live with her, you will not be happy. After all, you were distressed when your ex girlfriend, living many miles away from you, had trouble with her son. Living with a woman who has trouble with her two minor children couldn’t possibly be good for you, and definitely not a wonderful experience.

In your original post you wrote about your current girlfriend: “We get along great and do and think the same about a lot of things. Even our lifestyles are the same”

But in your recent post you wrote: “She does have a minor drinking problem. Which I don’t know if that’s something that I can continue with”- right here is an indication that her lifestyle is not the same as yours.

You wrote her drinking problem is minor, but it is major enough for you to think you will not be able to continue with it.

And then her parenting is not the same as yours and I can’t think of anything more major in one’s lifestyle than the parenting of minor children. You wrote that “They are out of control and control her. It’s all a big mess. And about you, you wrote: “my girls respect me and listen”.

In summary: stay on the thread but get off the stage. State reality as it is, avoid exaggerations and misrepresentations of the truth. It would make life easier, wouldn’t it? Less exciting but easier and more functional. Stating reality as it is leads me to think that your current girlfriend is not a good option for a relationship. Now it is not about choosing between a wonderful relationship and a past relationship anymore, is it?

anita