yes, I suppose you’re right there.  I just hate not being completely honest with her.  It kills me.  Especially because i wasn’t with my ex.  And that hurt her the most.

Anyone else?  This is so hard.  I’m so torn.  I don’t know if i should just count my losses and quit all communications with my ex or if i should try?

I have talked to my best friend about this and he said that none of my friends like her now because of how bad our break up messed me up.  And they felt like she controlled me.  Which she didn’t.  I created things in my head.  When she couldn’t see me, i would just hang out at home and not do anything, I quit hanging out with my friends like i used to.  All of which was my decision.  She even told me to do stuff with them and i didn’t.  I painted a bad picture of her with my friends.  Dang.  I don’t know.  Maybe it is best if i just end all of this now.  It’s so hard though, so hard wondering.  I know there are  a million what ifs and scenarios.  but seriously, i really was never happier than i was with her.(of course this is before the tornado of drama all hit).  I still regret the way i handled everything.