Yes you are absolutely correct. That is what he would say at times about my grandmother how she was a drunk and neglected him. it may hold some truth but my grandmother is like the sweetest woman in the world an his only brotherand sibling who was ten years older Is now deceased (16 years now) i think he felt that he took relevance over him in his childhood. Like my uncle was the better man in which I know he was.

And yes my mother is in denial. She knows what’s going on she complains but she stays and stays. And I believe feels even more compelled to because my grandfather is gone it is just him and my grandmother an she takes on the role of nurse for his mom. She does more for her than him in actuality. That isn’t my business but I fear when the day comes she’s no longer here it may be a wake up call but on the other hand he may never really truly appreciate his wife/mom or his family. As you say it’s like to fill a void for A moment but he holds so much resentment so it cannot be genuine.