Hi Anita,

I do realize fate is not all. Most of the time, decisions of the person is what determined the outcome. That part I have no problem with. Because I strongly believe my life is up to me to carve out. That is the reason why I put in so much effort to be with Debbie because I know, it is up to us as a couple to carve out our path. When she show signs that she is not into it anymore, that is why I suggested the break-up. There is no point anymore for me to fight a one-sided relationship.

Hi Eliana,

There are 2 sides to her. Most of the time she will be this serious cold hearted woman which I really dislike. Sometimes she will be this little girl who open her heart to me. Guess I love one but not the other. I am now imagining with the cold hearted lady and I really dislike that. She always over-analyze things and I think she realize she has no future with me. After all, women needs security and she don’t see me providing her that. I knew about this all along that is why I am willing to sacrifice myself for her. Even though I do have a decent job, and is making decent money to have a decent living, apparently it is still not enough for her. In the beginning, when she was still in her “fantasies”, she said she didn’t mind starting all over again but apparently she mind.

Anyway, coming back to imagining being with her now, especially the cold hearted Debbie, I am not looking forward to that. Then again, I am also very attracted to her beauty which is why I miss her so much. She is the type when she walk into a room, she commands attention. One of my colleague said, she is too hot for me! 🙂

Read something online where they did a survey and showed that women want security from men and men want beautiful women! LOL..that is spot on in my case.

Hahaha…I need to find humour in everything. I am okay when I am at work because I am surrounded by good friends. Just when I am alone, my mind starts wondering and missing her. I know I will miss her for the rest of my life and I should learn to live with it. Even though she treated me badly and especially how she ended the relationship by blocking me and not even saying proper goodbyes. I am actually a fun person and I always say the darnedest things to create humour among my colleagues. I am actually living a decent average income life and I can afford most things in life. Not luxurious but decent enough.

Am I blabbling again? Hahaha..to think that I am an introvert and don’t really talk a lot in real life, I sure do type a lot online!