Hi Kay…  Everything you’ve stated is understandable to a point.  You are going to have to find your happiness within yourself. You are key.  Please do not depend on your Ex and your Friend  to receive the happiness you so deserve in life.  I’m happy that you are seeing a therapist and I hope somewhere throughout your sessions that you will realize that you don’t need people in your life that don’t bring any positivity or peace.  People that surrounds you that are not authentic  can make you feel depressed and lonely as well.