Dear Derek:

One day you will stop being scared of thoughts, knowing they are very temporary happenings in your brain, nothing to do with the outside, not extending beyond the distance between your ears. Thoughts do not have “catastrophic hidden meaning” of any kind.

You definitely associate what is happening now with what happened to you in the past. All  brains do that, associating all day long, all waking hours.

I think it may help you to share more about how your “mother is there nagging away so it rains on (your) parade”- some other time, better anticipate a pleasant time at the beach now, as you wait.

Try to hold this thought: you don’t have to be scared of thoughts. Look at all the people later at the beach. Many thousands of thoughts in all those brains, in each one, and none is hurting you, none is visible, none is of any consequence. They come and go and gone.

anita