Dear Anita,

I hope this message finds you well. It’s 2.44pm in England, Saturday afternoon. The sun is out, and it’s 28 degrees. Very hot!! I’m just on my way out to a carnival in town – street party with lots going on, going to be a great day.

I agree, that is how religion started – people needing an answer for pain maybe? A reason for existence, suffering, life itself etc.
For me – I’m not religious, but I have looked in to different religions. There was a time where I sought solace and salvation at a multi-faith ashram in Wales. I felt I had nothing left – I went to pray, and I went to find answers for it all. It was there that I met my friend Natalie – older British Indian woman. We were the only two women there who weren’t with families. And it turned out that we had pretty similar situations. Both on our own, both with no family, both had hard upbringings. We would often sit up and have talks about life, spirituality etc. It was so lovely to have that connection. We still catch up as well. Still in contact. She actually came to my graduation. The people that I invited to my graduation were my support system: Natalie, an older Indian man called Sam who also helped me a lot on my spiritual path (he does this with a lot of students), and my boyfriend at the time.

I had my therapy phone call today, was great. I have more homework to do – filling out a worksheet on values. What’s valuable to me, and what things I can do to ensure that I am meeting my values etc. !! All good stuff. – with the emotions regarding family, I try not to let it impact my present… And remind myself that with my connection with my family, I am never allowed to be myself or put myself first. There is no way that I would be able to grow in to the person that I want to become, and so I am putting that first.

Yes, the day is long….But the days off are SO worth it!! I’m looking at the positives (only way to do it) – bus time = music time/ reading time/ lyric writing time/ solitude time. At work = I’m getting nursing care experience. The residents are lovely. The staff are a good team and work hard. It’s a community. I also get 3 meals at work as well.

Cat