hi Rye

In my opinion there is nothing more we can ask of others and ourselves is that when we learn better we do better.

The reality of consciousness is that we become conscious in moments of tension – we don’t become conscious of cold until we experience the tension between the experience of cold and hot. Meaning we tend to learn things the hard way.

I know today there is a tendency to judge people base on a single moment, even if that moment happened years ago when we did not know what we know now. But we are more then a single experience, we are more then the sum of our parts. That you could learn and correct your behavior, and your concern with becoming that person again says great deal about you. That to is a part of the whole

Forgiveness is a concept that it more often then not misunderstood, let alone self forgiveness. Its important to remember that forgiveness does not remove responsibility or accountability.  A part of forgiveness is making amends when required and this may or may not evolve those that you harmed.  Having made the commitment to learn from your past and do better counts. Self forgiveness also involves amends to the self. Just as your experience likely opened you to compassion towards others you need to have compassion for yourself.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a memory that fills them with shame when something triggers it. Its not a great feeling yet it keeps us aware and asking the question of who we are and wish to be and if we are living up to those values.