S,

Loving someone should not override loving yourself.  We find ourselves attracted to and attach to those people who have characteristics of those “unloved” parts of us that were not addressed growing up and visa versa.  Usually that evolves into a “crucible” or conflict when each party needs to face that part to grow and heal.  That is tipping point of the relationship.  Your  boyfriend is facing that now and cannot grow beyond that fear, that wound that needs to be healed from childhood.

You cannot force him to commit.  Living together is not a full commitment in my opinion.  Once each person moves into marriage then we absolutely need to come face-to-face (literally) with the issues that were created from our childhood.

Mark