* Dear Busy Brandy (I like the alliteration):

If you know a rock climber in person and his (or her) life was made “fuller, and more fun” because of his rock climbing, that is because his life was already full and fun (and therefore made fuller and more fun). Following their thrill, they return to the life they had, energized. On the other hand, John’s life was not full or fun, but lacking motivation and depressing,  and so, following his thrill he returns to his life, more unmotivated and depressed.

John’s thrill regarding the ex girlfriend has nothing to do with her, that is, he expressed no knowing of her feelings, her motivations, her values, nothing. He only shared dry facts about her. In his interactions with people replying to his thread, he took none of the input in. Absolutely nothing. Same in his relationships with people outside this thread, I believe. This is why his insight into himself is so poor. He doesn’t consider what other people feel, value; what makes people tick. He may touch on this or that, but very momentary and superficially. His understanding of himself and others is summed up in his common phrase: “I can’t explain it”.

His thrill is in waiting for the love he didn’t experience. The need is still there.; the experience itself isn’t. The experience is impossible for as long as he “can’t explain (any of) it”.

anita