Thank you Anita and Peter!

I appreciate it so much! I’ll look up the books/resources you’ll have suggested. How does one practically implement these? Is it just about challenging ones thoughts?

For me I feel I am reason for everyone’s misery. Also, if I perform an action which does not align with “my beliefs” I feel life is not worth living. I always tried diverting my thoughts or push stuff under the carpet till now because if there was pain it involved only me. Now that I am dating, its becoming almost impossible for me to handle these emotions now that another person is involved. If “I feel” that I “hurt” the other person, I go insane. The point is sometimes genuinely another person could be hurt but I do get over it but there are times I make assumptions that another person is hurt though he may not be too hurt.. I am in crazy place..Its much better if i stay single. This attachment, suffering and saying no or someone rejecting me is too painful…And I dont seem to understand how to deal with it apart from crying, not being able to take up a job, hurting myself… Being an adult these are unhealthy coping mechanisms. Sure I have made mistakes, maybe big ones because I was not aware of myslef. But how much does self condemnation help? Desires are thwarted at the moment.. I have to learn to endure and figure out how to deal with all this…

Sorry for this much venting…:(