i have stopped talking to our families about him. I have stopped stalking facebooks. It is so hard to control my impulsivity sometimes. I feel like if I had and this month went by with less contact and more healing we could be in a better place. I am so afraid of preparing for the long term stay. I want to go back and fix our life like I know we can. How do I get myself to accept that. I feel like if we let go there is no chance. Where can I find these support groups? I’m going to look up Coda. I n the 3 years living with him I was verbally abusive when we argued which was often. I have no figured out that I have severe PTSD from childhood abuse and I have a fear of abandonment and I also have a terrible temper and unhealthy way of dealing with conflict that I learned from my parents. I understand these things now and I want to go reverse them so bad. He has apologized this entire month for his actions and I feel like I can’t let it go but who am I? I have done so much wrong including not allowing him to grow as a person and forgive  himself because I continue bashing him. I haven’t called or texted in a few days and I was thinking of texting an apology or even flying to Florida since I left so impulsively and apologize but at the same time always afraid he talking to women. I’m so confused