Dear anita,

sorry that I get back to you and everyone so late. I can only post from the library but didn’t make it there recently.

Indeed, “I hate you” is allways meant towards me, though it should actually be “I hate me” then. Kind of like distancing myself from myself maybe?

You theory sounds very true. When I was suffering from depression I remember how I would feel the fear in my whole body, especially my arms for some reason, it was nearly painful sometimes. Yes, definitely energy without an outlet. It makes sense then, that the energy would find an outlet this way as you say. In the past years my mood has improved a lot through therapy, I also tried various sports so there was an energy-outlet there. Sometimes I have set backs, I guess with depression there is allways that risk. But it got better overall.

Did you find a way to deal better with blurting out stuff to strangers and with Tourette and OCD?