Dear Naia,

Good to read from you again.

You mentioned about how you wanted to clarify your feelings about your friend and understand how the relationship between the two of you went south. You still feel that you owe her since you still feel partially guilty.

Please do write about it. I will read and try to give my perspective on it.

You mentioned about struggling to be firm and defending yourself. Have you noticed if this pattern keeps repeating. That means that more often than not you are able to respect others’ feelings and able to be polite and kind; so when you do the contrary you experience guilt. And more often than not you are unable to defend yourself and struggle to be firm.

Could this be the basis of why you are not able to let go easily of your friendship with this particular friend?

If it is a pattern that has repeatedly happened in the past, it is likely it may keep happening again unless you take active measures. This would mean practice being more assertive on a regular basis.

Take care