Lara,

I’m sorry that I didn’t see your message until now. But I would like to answer the questions you asked me. I asked my parents what they are going to do about this… and they basically told me that they would handle this on their own. So I don’t know. I honestly pried and pried at not only my brother but also my parents to find out more about the situation. But I ended up causing a fight and I was told to mind my business (for my brother’s sake because he did not want to talk about it). So I don’t know what they did, but they just told me they are handling it. And I did try to talk with my brother about it but he freaked out. He completely shut down. I was driving with him in my car and when I brought it up he almost jumped out of my car. I’m serious when I tell you he physically cannot handle talking about it. My parents seemed a little sorry for my brother.. they partly believe that it was his friends who encouraged him to do this. Maybe that is wrong but it is what I personally believe too. And based on everyone’s story involved, more kids than just my brother were involved. But ultimately, my brother is the one who committed the act. I just don’t think he would have had the audacity to come up with this on his own. My brother is a little like me. He worries about what everyone thinks. For him to just do this… on his own… there is no way. There is 1 thing that guides every single one of his actions. It is social acceptance. It is the need to look cool. He did this out of ignorance. He didn’t understand the extent of his actions on this girl… he just wanted to look cool. He was getting positive reinforcement from the people around him. It made him feel like this was the right thing to do (in regards with his interests). He felt like doing this was something to be proud of because everyone around him clearly thought it was cool. It’s like how teenage boys ask for nudes from girls to show it to their friends. Except this act… was way cooler! (I obviously don’t think this way but I DO know how 15 year old boys think). So I don’t really know anything except for everything I’ve stated here. Nobody will really talk about it with me.

But since my brother and I are very alike, I can assume how he feels. I, too, have done dumb things for social acceptance. Definitely not this bad (because this was a very, very, very, verrrry stupid thing to do. He should have known better. I guess it is just a different mindset when you are surrounded with and influenced by a bunch of immature high school boys who only care about girls and parties). But I would feel betrayed. Confused. I would think, “how can my friends just ditch me when they were completely for this? I knew it was so wrong but I was so caught up in trying to fit in with my friends. I thought it was okay. But obviously it never is okay to do this. How could I be so stupid. And how could they ditch me when I threw parties for them at my house every weekend?” — Oh and if I didn’t mention this before: my brother’s friends would completely use him. They would ask him for money and not pay him back. My brother would uber eats food to their houses…. but never get paid back!!! My brother was so caught up in it he was in denial about it. They would also ask him to throw parties every weekend then they would all invite the entire school.

I know what my brother did was soooooo wrong. But being a teenager is though. Sometimes you are so caught up in trying to figure yourself out. You are so caught up in your friends. In popularity. In social acceptance. As a teenager you are dealing with problems that you don’t even know exist…. yet they affect you and you feel certain ways that you don’t understand. I can’t help but feel like my brother was just completely used and thrown aside like a dirty rag. If his friends TRULY cared then they would help him see how his actions are wrong and they would NOT encourage him to do this!!! By them ditching him, it just proves how bad of friends they are!! Not to mention all the social hate my brother is getting. The only good thing about this is… hopefully my brother will mature from this. And maybe learn a little bit about himself and on how to treat others.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Katie.