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Dear Anita,
yes in medicine and psychology it is an outside to inside approach. These “experts” studying humans as specimens. Many of which would never relate personally. I do believe who better to learn from than someone who went through it their own self and came out on the other side (like you, and as time goes on me).
If the child copes by dissociating, it makes it possible to survive daily life with the parent. If they were fully aware of the often ongoing traumatic experience of their childhood, they would not survive it.
This makes sense. So as an adult now if I am fully aware of the trauma of what was my life I wouldn’t be surviving, wouldn’t be functional. This is hard to grasp but I am looking at others (not like me) to think of general examples.
I have a former friend that has many toxic relationships with men. Highs and lows, she was often treated so poorly by them at the end. But would bounce back and be dissociated from it all and move forward. Her ways were not healthy and by no means relatable to my life. But yet there are similarities. Dissociating from what my mom did just 2 years ago to survive. But what about her behaviors 25 years ago that I don’t remember. Surely dissociated from that right. Or else I wouldn’t be here in the way I am..?