Dear Anita,

thank you. I do love to write.

Today I feel something different. I feel something light and free. I am saying this because I am journaling, not because I am making an exclamation of a change.  I am merely observing.  Today I had a day off, to myself. Unlike previous days off in my life, this was one to really rest, sink and savor. I woke up in the normal way, mentally searching for and focusing on my tasks. After I went through one or two of them, I was faced with just myself.  I observed how I felt. I felt fearful. It felt difficult to simply relax and feel comfortable and happy. I pushed a little further and asked myself why, the answer I got was the following. It seems too simple and easy just to relax and enjoy this day off. Perhaps it feels like if I do, I am missing something, or that the other shoe will drop.

So I asked myself what is the point of today? The point of the day is to be. Whether I am climbing a mountain, performing cardiac surgery, or simply sitting on my couch. It is all living. It is all valid. To live a day well spent I don’t have to prove anything, I don’t have to validate my day to someone else or more importantly myself. My day can be just that, it can be personal to me. How comforting this can be, to wake up and live however I want, just to live this day for its OWN self.  as is. Most importantly, this day does not have to be intertwined with yesterday and tomorrow. It is a standalone time. This day does not have to be a tool to prepare for tomorrow or the next week or month. It could simply be today. Based on our prior conversation, this day does not need to be dedicated to learning about the past. As there are lessons in just living today. Oh yes simply living and breathing today is learning.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Cali Chica.