When it comes to inner experiences and memory time is an illusion (and a trickster). Here the past, present and future exist together, are part of each other, and happen at the same time.

This nostalgia, this longing for yesterday, longing for home isn’t happening in the past its occurring now, in the present. The past that you are remembering, this act of remembering is now.  You aren’t stuck in the past you are suck in the now.

The problem is memory. It is likely that this memory you labelled “four years ago” has been idealized. Meanings and purposes attached that only exist in hind sight and can and will change in the next remembering.

The feeling of nostalgia can become a trap or a door. A trap if you stay stuck in the illusion, becoming that old angry guy always talking about how good things used to be. Or a door, a reminder to your sense of self that the Self seeks to find and return to its authentic self. That the path you are on is not who you are, it’s a path. A path that will change and lead you places you have yet to dream of.

In the words of T.S Eliot – “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” – T. S. Eliot

You see we are always seeking home, longing for home… even as we have a problem recognizing it as home, but that two is part of the path. Don’t get stuck in the illusion of past memory. Take what you learned, pick a direction and see what lies over the next hill. You will find your way home… your already there.