Anita

I agree with you in regards to people pleasing, I think after setting and upholding boundaries with my parents and work I began feeling more confident a few weeks ago. I am beginning to stop answering texts or the front door for my landlord/friend after a certain time of day because he intrudes on the time I have to myself, and steals the time I use to care for myself because I let him. However I’m realizing now I have every right to do that and it won’t effect my housing, he needs my income and a trustworthy tenant on his property especially if he began to rent out the house to random people.

Some of my depression I believe is also coming from working in the mental health/non profit industry where the people I serve don’t get what they need because of politics, and unskillful employees who contribute to making people’s lives worse when they should be caring and helping. It makes me sad to think I may have very little options upon graduation except to work in these settings for a number of years before I can start my own private practice or non-profit. I feel trapped by my career choice.

I’m not sure if there’s anything you can tell me to help me with attachment pains, no one has really been able to help me through the pain of feeling alone, and having no one to take care of me (except here). I can take care of myself for a while and then I fall into depression when I run out of hope that I will ever have another romantic relationship. I’m beginning to feel abnormal compared to my peers who are married, or have no problem dating or finding sex. I’m beginning to feel unattractive and worthless, and it’s takes me to a bad place mentally where my will is very weak. I still take care of my responsibilities, but I can’t bring myself to make music, or paint, or exercise when I’m alone. Instead I habe just lay in bed not eating all day, in despair confused as to what I’m doing wrong.

Again I want you to know that although I may not always respond directly to your posts I do read them and ‘re read them before I post here. Just in case I’m being redundant.