Hello!

Thank you for replying.

I didn’t mention this earlier, but in my old relationship, I went numb for those last few months, like I was there physically but never with him mentally/ emotionally. Though he was not my first relationship but he was my first love and it was difficult for me to leave him ultimately as things were not working out.

Though mostly I was okay, I still missed my ex sometimes and it was after so long that I actually felt alive with this other person. I might sound dramatic, but I have never felt like this in any of my relationships before, that instant click. Our contact is not just limited to texting now, he has called me as well and it just feels totally effortless with him. Still, I have decided to leave things as it is and not to pursue him further.

But I am feeling very conflicted, even though I know pursuing him will be a bad idea. There isn’t much I can do here. I don’t know that if I will ever get to feel like this again with someone else, which makes it kind of scary. My ex-boyfriend has already moved on and I am yet to find a decent guy for myself. I understand that obviously there is no competition between me and my ex on who settles first, but thinking of the future makes me feel sad and lonely.