Dear Ladybug:

It is true that it is important to a lot of men to be providers, this is so because of the social expectation that is communicated to boys from an early age. But I have learned that although it helps a man’s confidence some, lots of men do not feel confident even when they do provide and do so well. I should say, often enough, it … is not enough for the man and it does not lead to a good relationship with the woman they provide for.

The man has to realize, if it is true, that is, that the woman he is one of a team of two.

Your boyfriend views you not as a team player but someone that makes his life more difficult. I am not surprised this is so because of his difficult relationship with his mother, the most powerful woman in his life. There was no team work with her, not on any level. She was a burden to him, not an asset.

anita