Hi John,

So the first item on your list is to be confident and strong. So say you wake up and see the moon, full and bright, and it reminds you of your ex, and you start feeling regretful, weak and sad. Take out your list, which should always be nearby like in your pocket, and read item 1: I am confident and strong. This is who you are because each person gets to decide who he/she is. You want to be confident and strong and you’re the CEO of you, so you decide, and that’s who you are. It’s that simple. This means that anyone or anything that tries to sabotage your confidence and strength won’t be successful because you’re in charge. As the CEO of you, you’re smart enough to see what’s happening: a thought tried to pull you in AND YOU LET IT! You saw the moon, thought of your ex and got pulled in, then started to feel regretful, weak and sad. As CEO, you don’t have to do what anyone/anything tells you to do! You don’t have to get pulled in. You get to make the decisions! You can let the thought pass without weakening your confidence and strength. At first it’s difficult to do this, so don’t get discouraged. Over time it gets easier. I’m not saying you need to control your thoughts — that’s too hard to do. It’s much easier to control their effects on you. When a thought pops in you head, recognize that it’s only a thought, acknowledge it, you can even say aloud “you’re only a thought”, and then let it pass. Don’t identify with it. Don’t get pulled in. You’re confident and strong; you get to decide what happens once the thought pops into your head. You’ll get better and better at this if you keep trying.

Make your list. Read it before you get out of bed in the morning and then over and over again throughout the day.

John, once you are able to let these ridiculous, annoying thoughts pass without pulling you in, other things in your life will become clearer, like this other relationship you’re in.

Last thing: At the beginning of your last post you wrote I just can’t turn it off in my head. So stop trying to turn it off! Let the thoughts come if they want to come. Who cares if they come?? You don’t because you will let them go before getting pulled in. What you’ll see is that over time the thoughts will start to give up. They’ll start to recognize who’s in charge.

B