Alot of what you saying makes sense and i get that hes very bad with dealing with emotions and especially mine (due to his relationship with his mother) Falling inlove with me really put him in a comfortable state of mind, but also made him lazy and unambitious and for that he fears getting back in that comfort again. Im at the phase of my life where i want something serious and i dont want to be insecure and stressing about the person im in love with. I know that arguing is not good and keeping peace is vital for the both of us to be happy and to stay focused. He wants me to get more of a social life. He doesnt want me to dedicate myself to him and hes career during my free time. He trains everyday and sometimes twice a day which means he finishes at the gym quite late so in the evenings hes exhausted and all he has energy to do is get cleaned up, eat and  get into bed maybe watch a movie. Theres not much time to have depth conversations or he doesnt have the energy to put in any effort to make me feel special. He useto be very romantic but with his career growing and hes training getting more intense he has so much on his plate although he does spend all his free time with me. Its not that im ungrateful of his time… i would just prefer better quality time spent such as romance, dates, small gifts.. things that make me feel special. I dont feel all that special if we just lazing around or doing chores together and hes always exhausted so i have to keep the conversation simple or he’ll feel overwhelmed. I would rather have 1 hour spent going for a romantic walk, a date or him bringing home a special gift for me than to spend an entire weekend of just being around him and feeling unimportant. My starvation to feel romanced and special has killed my desire to go have a social life. Im drained trying to connect and create a spark for our relationship to not be so mediocre. He wants our relationship to work but he doesnt know how to change things up nor does he have the time or energy to actually take action. I know i have to speak to him and let him know how i feel and what id like and thats  the only way ill know if he is interested in putting in that extra effort.