@anita

Thank you. It takes time but I think the best for me is to focus on my self-development, as I still feel like a child at the age of 26. I’ve figured that having friends makes me happy, at least I felt happy the most when I had connections with friends. I felt misery in the past 2 years, one of the reason could be me lacking of friends (my bestie ignored me, and my close colleague left the office, basically I have no best friend except my ex)

I would not mind if you ask more question, while having the Q&A session I’ve actually gained more insights on how my past affects my present.

Actually I have a lot more to tell you about myself, there are things that I’m yet to figure out. I really appreciate that you take time and read my words.

About my anger towards my ex, it was actually small things like:
1. He doesn’t understand me (he always smile when I complain to him and I thought he doesn’t understand me)
2. or he didn’t give me the answer I wanted (for a long time I’ve been searching for the meaning of life, when I asked him the question he would give me simple answer which I don’t satisfied with it)
3. When I told him I’m sad and asked him how to be happy, he would answer me “don’t be sad” which I find it not a solution.
4. Overall I thought we couldn’t connect because he gave me “shallow” answer when I asked him.
5. I also always compare him with other friends

But after I reflect, I found that his happy go lucky attitude towards life is the key to happiness. While I’ve been dwelling in search for meaning of life and compete with people around me, I’ve become more and more miserable in the recent 2 years.