“The “true love” consummate relationship has intimacy, commitment, AND passion. Finding all 3 in a relationship is rare and I do believe, in certain connections, it really does last without fading…. and then other times, you lose one and that’s when the relationship starts going downhill. But, oh, when you have all 3 combined with a feeling of a soul connection, it’s a totally different experience and I don’t think anyone who hasn’t actually felt it can really understand because it’s just one of those things that does sound like a fairy tale or an exaggeration unless you actually feel it.”

Valora, thank you for that.  I thought i was going crazy.  It’s funny because when i was with my ex-wife.  She wanted that feeling with me.  We loved each other and cared for each other and were best friends.  However, i didn’t have “that” feeling.  I would even tell her “it’s not like it is in the movies!”  She hated that saying btw.  But at that time, in my eyes it wasn’t.  The thought of meeting someone and feeling that feeling almost immediately and having a connection so strong that it’s ridiculous.  I didn’t believe in that crap at all…  Not one bit!

Then it happened to me.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was dumbfounded.  I have done things that i normally wouldn’t do for my ex that i never dreamed i would want to do.  Yet, i did do them and loved it!  Like just sitting at  a picnic table by the river for an hour or more, just holding hands and talking.  before her, there was no freaking way.  I would of asked ” what are we going to do, just sit there?”

I heard stories of people meeting and within just a couple months, living together, then within a year getting married and it lasting forever and them still being as much in love as they were when they first met.  I thought it was bullshit.  How the hell could you just meet someone and know?

Well after my ex, I found out.   I do know if circumstances were different.  I know deep in my heart that we would still be together.

If we did live in the same town, and she didn’t have all that drama all hit at the same time, or even if she did.  I would of been closer so that i didn’t feel like i was getting pushed away so much, causing me to become so insecure with her.  Who knows we may have even been living together within 4-5 months of knowing each other.  That’s when we were talking about it and trying to figure out a plan.

sorry, I’m getting off track here.

My point was, I was a skeptic. I didn’t believe in that until it happened to me.  It’s such a strong feeling that it’s something that you cannot explain.  And yes, if she were to text me, call me, or see me.  I would feel the same way Valora did when she hugged her ex.  EVERY TIME!

I’ve thought i was in love before her.  I know now that I wasn’t.  Or if I was it wasn’t a true, unconditional love.

Sorry, didn’t mean to blow up here.  It’s been really hard.  Tonight was the night one year ago that I screwed up and was going to copy and send a text my ex sent me to her friend to see what she thought(looking for help), and I accidentally sent it back to my ex, which I think was the real thing that finally made up her decision.  She was a real private person and no matter how silly or simple a text was, Those were sacred to her.  Like I betrayed her trust as bad as if I cheated on her.  I knew at that moment that she was probably going to break it off for good.

And tomorrow night is the anniversary of her leaving me.

So this has been a real emotional week for me.  Hard to think it has been a year.  There are days or mornings that it feels like it was last night.

You are the only people I have to talk about this to.  I can’t discuss how i’m feeling with my girlfriend anymore, because it’s making her feel like #2.

Thank you