It was refreshing, motivating, joyful, Life itself with a capital L, fireworks and all,  suddenly and magically appearing in your life in all its glory, sort of. Correct? Like the grass has never been greener and the  sun never more pleasant and inviting one to play..I can go on and on. “Pure bliss” you called it. I  know this feeling. There is no better feeling, to feel this way  for  someone and be together with that someone, or even imagine being together, looking forward, like you looked  forward that weekend, for Friday night, then Saturday, then Sunday. And now that it is over, you still long for her/ for that  feeling. Why would anyone let go of the memory of this feeling, of still wanting it?

What you’re describing here seems surreal, and I don’t know about John, but it’s not really what I felt. I feel like that’s the honeymoon phase that a lot of people experience when their emotions and hormones are heightened and they’re “flying in the clouds,” so to speak. That’s the one that definitely doesn’t last because it’s more of an excited state rather than a baseline feeling. What goes up, must come down. So, John, if this is what you felt, it might have just been an extended, really strong honeymoon phase.

What I felt was more of a calm. Nothing else in my life was really heightened and I wasn’t in an excited state. The grass seemed the same as always, the sun shown as usual, but when we were near each other, we were drawn together like magnets, just always wanting to be hugging or just connected in some way, even just holding hands, for 2 straight years. And he felt like “home” to me. I felt extremely comfortable, relaxed, safe, warm, protected, calm. Other boyfriends have made me feel some of those things but never to the extreme extent all together to where it literally just felt like I was home and all was right with the world. And that really is probably how children feel with a nurturing parent BUT, again, correlation is not causation. That is just a good feeling for people in general, young and old, and if we know how that feels, we’re going to want it. Now if that feeling SCARES someone, then that fear (of either the feeling or the loss of it) might have to do with an attachment issue with a parent.

Anyway, the reason why that kind of thing is so hard to get over, besides missing the feeling, is that it’s hard to want less than that, and for sure it takes a special kind of connection with someone to give you that feeling. It’s not something you can just get with anyone.  BUT that’s where faith comes in.  You just have to believe that you will have that feeling again, either with someone new who is also a soul connection or perhaps your ex will come back when you’ve both done some growing (and with growth, you won’t experience that jealousy of her son. That was a clue that you had work to do on yourself, namely attachment/insecurity issues. I had the same ones).  None of us know what will happen in the future, but if we really want to experience that feeling again, we have to believe it will come after we’ve done some self-improvement and are ready to hold it gently this time.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Valora.