Oh my dear, sweet brother….

You have fallen in a trap that many of us men have fallen in before. For some reason, we are hardwired to think that almost any positive attention from someone we are interested in means that they want to bear our children and be with us forever (that’s obviously hyperbolic for comedic effect, but it isn’t that far off, either). I will put it bluntly to save you some time. You can either just outright ask her “Look, I feel like what happened is much different than how we both thought it would work out, so what do you think about giving it another shot now”, or you can just be happy with a friend. And to be completely blunt, I don’t hold out much hope for the first part. This isn’t because she is out of your league, or you are undeserving, or anything. But she has broadcast to you that she enjoys knowing and speaking to you, but that she does not enjoy being intimate with you. Yes, it is a little unfair that she judged you based on performance while dealing with those issues, but thems the breaks sometimes. I once got intimate with a girl I had chased in high school for years but had drank too much. That was my one chance to make a good impression, and I failed badly. We still hang out as friends now, but she sees me as such a non-sexual entity now that I might as well be another woman.

I would say just enjoy the attention she gives you. She likely REALLY DOES care for you and worries about you. But that doesn’t mean you are destined to be together. I would say play it aloof. Don’t be rudely so, but still, keep the conversations light and really listen to her. Empathize. Don’t give her solutions to her problems, just listen to them. Those are the sorts of things that women find attractive in a man most of the time. If there is a chance, and you treat her well as a friend, you might end up getting another chance. But more likely, you have been friendzoned, and that is okay.