Kkasxo,

Well over a couple of weeks of therapy, maybe it’ll become a little clearer as to what is the best thing for you to do right now. You may not actually be worse after therapy, you may feel better, maybe you just to need offload all that you have been carrying and it will lighten your load somewhat, so keep the faith.

I don’t know what you have been through with your ex, but if you feel he’s intrinsic to your recovery, discuss it with the therapist and see what advice is given. I am sure when you go through something traumatic and you have a connection with someone regarding that event, it seems natural that you would want that person to be part of the process.

You’re so like me! I have been questioning if I really need those things in the future. Is my ex not more important than all of that, which I feel I’m unlikely to get anyway now at this stage.  Genuinely, but my ex is a bit of a decent guy and he wouldn’t let me make the sacrifice, even if I wanted to. For my sake and also for his as he would constantly feel the cause of it and I’m sure resentment would set in. When we got back together two years ago, i explained to my therapist that I would be happy to have him as my partner for the rest of our lives, nothing more. I genuinely believed that at the time, but as time went on, my real feelings kept leaking out, despite me trying to be patient and just push them down. Now I’m in no man’s land. I can’t go back and I can’t go forward. I feel like I’m broken. Destined to be nothing more than a broken-hearted shell for the rest of days. How pessimistic of an outlook is that?! But that’s how I feel. I want to be with him and not have any issues. Argh, it’s not fair.

You are right, I have a demonstrable lack of self worth/love.