Dear John:

You are very angry. I  don’t trust people to think sensibly when intensely angry. Anger and sensible, logical thinking  don’t go together. I don’t  know what she  is thinking and I don’t think you know either. I  don’t trust  your ability at this time to correctly  evaluate people and situations.

What is clear to me is that the well being of your four young children must come first. They  must not witness anger, raised  voices, verbal abuse, and even  that  tension that can be so thick although invisible. Whatever it takes to protect them, do that. I think that separating from your wife immediately is an excellent idea. Because she is the mother of four children, let her stay with them in the house and move out somewhere else as soon as possible, today or tomorrow.

Pack some things and move out. See a psychiatrist and take the  medications you need to numb that anger, to be able  to go to work and function well enough. See your children outside their house, not with their mother, just  you and the kids.

Any conversations with her should  also be outside  the house  while  your children are in school or with a babysitter, sit with her in a public place like a coffee shop and talk.

Please pack a few things, get a hotel room, a short term bachelor apartment maybe. You are simply too angry to stay in the house.

anita