Hello Jo,

Where you say, “he makes me feel useless again,”…I’m sure you know that no one can “make” you feel anything…happy, sad, useless, loved…that comes from within you.

I also think you are giving him too much power over what makes you happy.  You are leaving that up to him which is why he says that if you leave him it will be the worst mistake of your life.

Underneath all of this, it seems, is your wish that he behave in a way that will make you happy.  He has shown you what he is capable of, and I don’t think this makes you happy.

I really like Mark’s idea of what you would say to a friend who was in the same circumstances.  Think about it.

Best,

Airene