Hi there,

I did it! It’s done and went okay….I think, so glad to have the first one done but I’m honestly so exhausted now, it was so intense and draining. I felt good going into it- well I faked feeling well!

I thought the whole experience would boost my confidence and feelings, however, now I feel rather deflated. I’m really missing my ex this afternoon. I guess special moments in life are made more special by sharing them with the one you love. I feel down again today as a result.

I am just like you in the sense that I want to believe in happy endings. I know a few couples who broke up at one stage and reunited and are solid now, even after really sh*tty things happened. However, in all cases, something changed. Something HAD to change otherwise they would end up in same place again, so the guy either came to his senses and settled down or made a commitment or gave up booze…..you get the idea! In my scenario, I know I can’t try & reconcile without some change on his part otherwise I’ll be back to where I am now. But he won’t/can’t change so I’m trying to fight the urge to reconcile which will probably make me look like a desperado anyway. Grrrr, these pesky feelings are a headwreck.

I’m too tired to do much this evening and I have a presentation tomorrow again so I’m going to try and relax this evening. How about you?