I thought it would be a bad idea because I was harboring some pretty strong feelings for her at that point but we were just best friends at the time. Around the time that she was moving out I was really anxious because I thought that her moving out and to a different space from me, about 20 minutes away, might mean that I would see much less of her and we would grow apart. I’m not exactly sure why she reciprocated and also didn’t really speak to me, I think she was also sad and saw me retreating a little bit. Us not talking only really lasted about a month, maybe just over a month, and during that time she apparently was really upset and would mention me all the time, and how we weren’t talking and how she missed me. She always missed me when we were dating too, like if I was on a trip or she was. We never really went too long without missing each other, through our friendship and relationship. I remember clearly, right around the time I developed feelings for her, she texted me one day into our Christmas break and said “this is bad, I miss you already”, but again, we were just friends at the time and this was years ago.
I miss her as desperately as I always have. I miss her laugh and seem to have forgotten the way her voice sounds. I don’t miss her because I’m lonely, I’m not lonely. I have so much love and friends in my life, but there’s this void that I can’t seem to fill. It hurts feeling like she may not miss me the way I miss her, and she may not miss me at all. She hasn’t told anyone that she misses me, and I have told everyone I miss her.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 