Dear Anita

I realize how much more energetic I feel when I leave time for myself and don’t try too many tasks all at once. I feel more content and not rushed to do so many things all at once. At first I thought grades were more important than health, but after feeling irritated and strained trying to get good grades at the expense of my health I realize I don’t want to do that anymore. I am currently struggling with Chemistry II, but all my other classes I’m doing well. I hope to have a B in Chemistry II this semester, but I’m not going to stress myself too much. I have also started a self-help reiki course that focuses on emotional healing. It has helped me be more calm and aware of why I act the way I do. When my inner critic tells me something, I can question it and ask it what proof it has and why it is that. So it can go something like this:

Inner critic: You don’t know what you’re doing. You are a mistake in life.

Me: Why do you say that? Where is the proof?

Inner critic: you are a strain on your parents. you are a failure in Chemistry II.

Me: I have a B in Chemistry II and one class doesn’t make me a failure. And how do you know I’m a strain on my parents? You aren’t living my life. You’re just a voice that judges in my mind, you have no life.

And the inner critic is silenced and there is this void and I feel that many things are possible to fill this void. And I tell myself “Don’t believe anything the inner critic tells you. It is only a shadow in the mind and it isn’t the one living my life.”

I hope that my combatting of the inner critic goes well for the rest of the week. My new energy levels are quite contagious to others who also help motivate me. So I’m glad, I’m going to try to make it a good week. It is a good goal because I’ve rarely had a full week that is good. Hope you are well Anita, thank you for being here for me and encouraging me to be a better person.