Kkasxo,

Have your family departed now for good or are they just on holidays? If it’s the permanent move, I hope you’re okay and managing the change well. It’s a good thing you were kept busy, it’s a good way to be sometimes as it leaves little time for much else to be thinking about.

Work is familiar and safe at the moment, which I need, but the reasons I have been trying to leave this job for about 3 years also remain and it’s also wrecking my head – as usual – but at least the head wrecking in here is familiar! My last big presentation tomorrow though – wohoo!

I’ve been feeling super low lately. I don’t know why. My friend spoke to me yesterday and said ‘Shelby -why are you even thinking about trying to get back with him, I’m not trying to be cruel, but he’s gone. Like, literally gone fom your life….it’s well done for him, even though I know it’s still a huge element of your life thinking and feeling etc. But it’s over for him now for a while, he’s not looking back’. She’s right of course. But now I feel foolish, because despite knowing that, why on earth can’t I have enough self-respect to say, I’m devastated but it’s done’. So frustrating.

How have you been doing? Will you get to the gym this week? Is work ok?