Shelby,

Yes you’re definitely right. Perhaps it is all too soon to have any interaction/contact with his family. I suppose in a way I knew i’d have to bump into them because of his living situation and I was okay with a casual Hi and Bye interaction, as that is the absolute necessity. What I am not okay with is feeling such anguish standing outside his front door that I end up having a panic attack and fleeing the location all together. Although I understand the situation was out of his control and yes I probably reacted more intensely than normal I didn’t appreciate that he allowed it to escalate. He literally could’ve sat with me for a moment and helped me breathe through it and said it’s okay, I understand this is a lot for you BUT you are here for me. I am here for you. You’re not here to see anyone else so just come in say hello and off we go up to my room, no further interactions. But I think where his family were standing over him and were like where is she? ‘She’s looking for parking..’ then before we knew it 30 minutes was gone and everyone started asking questions, that was putting additional pressure on me as I didn’t feel ready to stroll in there and so I thought it’s better for my sanity to just leave. I keep replaying it in my head and the thing that angers me the most is the fact that I know his sister feels she has the upper hand, the fact that he allowed that to happen!!!!

I think heartbreak is a little more complicated than we actually think. Maybe actually part of the process is to be stuck in a certain phase for a while? Although I do think that it goes back to what I previously said, unanswered questions, especially for people like you and I who need to be in control of everything at all times. I do believe it may be beneficial to write him a letter/email/text releasing every single thing that you are feeling. Don’t expect a response as it is likely you wont get one but know that at least those feelings are no longer trapped within you, instead he is fully aware of what you are feeling and you’ll feel all better for it. What do you think?

Aren’t you such a good sister?! It’s always nice to spend time with your niece/nephew aswell! I love doing things like that, especially in my low times as it makes me feel helpful and needed when I feel the complete opposite!

Ah yes I remember you mentioned about your relative. How is she?!

I’m due to be meeting up with a friend who I haven’t seen for some months this evening for a few drinks. I can most definitely use the reprieve of listening to someone else’s problems other than mine so i’m looking forward to that! Other than that nothing else planned for the rest of the weekend. I’ll have to think of something. Maybe get some more Christmas shopping done!