Hi there,

So as an update I needed to get in touch with them to wish my father a happy birthday. I am currently in some financial difficulty so I asked them for help although that has been ignored. I tried to buy them presents for christmas but my heart isn’t in it as it were, I just feel angry and sad.

I spoke to my ex and thankfully he is aware that I still love him, so that’s good, and he has said that I can message him and ask him how he is now and again. Because having completely no contact seems alien and at the end of the day we have always had a good friendship so I do still want him as part of my life.

However, there are a few things that I don’t understand or at least question.

• He wants me to fight for him yet with this break up he has just gone “ok, well I guess my future plans are changing”, I just thought there mightve been more of a “why? are you sure?” because really this break up isn’t because I don’t care about him its just theres a few things that aren’t going to change anytime soon and I dont want to wait any longer (one of them diy…yet now I have broken things off all of a sudden he is productive doing DIY?!) and because some of his life choices are making me feel second best.
• I think I just need to be patient.

I have noticed that my anxiety has decreased, but I am suddenly finding myself at the beginning of a long and rocky road on my own. So over the next month I will be trying to patch up my life.

I don’t want financial help from my family, it’s just frustrating that they could make their daughter happier or life less stressful, and they have chosen to only do that under a list of conditions, which I am not willing to follow because then I really will be miserable.

If there are any comments this weekend that put-me-down I am going to start to distance myself because I don’t deserve that.

What are your Christmas plans?

– V