Claire, I really think you need to put yourself in his shoes. What would you do if one of your parents or someone you were really close to was diagnosed with cancer? Your boyfriend is no doubt going through a LOT right now, and part of the job of a girlfriend and especially a wife is to be understanding of that and to put your own wants aside when things like this happen. It sounds like you are thinking more about how all of this is affecting you rather than how your boyfriend’s father’s illness is affecting him, and that is where most of your anxiety is coming from.

Life events don’t always happen on a desired timeline and things will come up that disrupt plans. When truly serious things like this come up, empathy is so, so very important. You just have to be as supportive and understanding as you can while he gets through this, which means putting your plans on the backburner. If you can’t do that and keep pushing him to put your wishes over his dying father’s, it’s likely you’re going to lose him. If you CAN be supportive and put HIS needs over yours, this is your chance to show him what a wonderful and supportive wife you could be.

As far as his mom, I’m sure they will figure that out. Chances are they will sell the bigger house and move her into a smaller place, but that’s for them to decide later on, when the time comes.