Shelby,

I think your therapist is right, I completely agree with that and it is also how I view normal, functioning, adult relationships. It’s nice to see that a fully qualified psychologist agrees! I must not be crazy in the end then for expecting this..

I believe the issue with his family will forever persist. Whether with me or with another partner in the future, they have and always will be first for him unfortunately. I know for a fact that I won’t be able to continue that way because it’s not normal and it most definitely isn’t fair..

i do believe that your ex used the ‘lone wolf’ thing as an excuse. Let’s be real, nobody really wants to be alone! Not forever anyway. At the end of the day we all strive to eventually settle down and live a happy life with another human being, our partner. I do think that it was just easier covering up his family responsibilities with that excuse rather than admitting that he is unable to cut the ties a little and focus on his own life… perhaps it didn’t sit right with him or maybe that’s just how he was raised – like my ex. Whatever it was I suppose it doesn’t matter. He was unable or unwilling to focus on his own life.

I’m proud of you that you have taken a step to actually plan the contact – only a few days ago you were petrified and didn’t even know how to go about it! Whether you do it or not is another story, baby steps. And remember, you don’t wctuqlly have to contact him if you feel within you it isn’t the right thing to do. I’m only going off of experience. There’s only so many times you can be rejected by someone before you accept it and move on… again, from experience.

Realistically if he reiterates that you two aren’t together for whatever reasons then it isn’t really anything new you’ll be hearing, you’re already aware of this and have been dealing with it so it can’t get worse than it is.

Whatever you decide to do, I’m always here for a chat x