Dear Anita

I have planned out my schedule for Spring 2019 semester (last full semester at Ocean County College) and working on taking summer Physics II and Calculus III so I will have enough credit requirements to transfer. I am currently working on my Rutgers application, the college essay prompt is to describe why you would be a good student at Rutgers and I am working on that. I listed four volunteer activities in my college application: Ocean Pride, NJSTARS, Environmental Club and also Math Tutoring. After the essay (which I am still drafting and revising), I have completed most of the application and will submit it. The deadline for transfer students is February 1st and students get notified of acceptance around May. After I have finished these tasks, I will work on the FAFSA. I think I will complete the FAFSA before I submit my college application because it will allow room for scholarships to open up based on my financial merit.

Scientists haven’t discovered a way to see if animals have gender dysphoria because most animals don’t have the gender presentations humans do. Also, animals don’t ‘self-mutilate’ their bodies to adapt to the environment.  Natural selection and evolution often play a factor on animal developments . Humans have the ability to reason and make decisions which leads to a more defined sense of self and gender identity which is different from animals who mostly take upon various traits to adapt to their environment and survive.  Most animals don’t know how to care for themselves with medicines and surgery like humans do. I don’t think even with the dexterity that a monkey’s fingers may have that a monkey could hold a vaccine and try to inject itself with the medicine. For starters, the vaccine may not be compatible with the monkey’s immune system and I don’t think the monkey would understand that the vaccine is helpful and not harmful because it would be able to comprehend the pain rather than the benefits because of cognition differences between humans and animals. Animals may not express gender dysphoria or a defined sense of gender identity and most don’t ‘self-mutilate’ themselves to have a specific body form. Mutations can be risky to a species’ survival out in nature, so it is often in nature’s interests to favor the traits that may help aid survival. If animals had their basic needs met, perhaps they could have a sense of self-worth and identity like humans because if they didn’t have to search for food and water, it may allow for higher cognition to take place and for them to develop reasoning power. But if all animals had the same reasoning power, there would not be competition and competition is important in helping regulate species. If a tiger had the same intellect as a human and since the tiger is a carnivore, it may be bad for the human who wants to hunt animals because the animals will be able to anticipate each others’ moves and it wouldn’t be possible to figure out who would be better off. It would be difficult to kill the tiger because of its new intellect, but it would also pose a problem for humans because the animal populations would like rise to large numbers because of their intellect and many will try to fight for dominance but each one will be able to anticipate the other that there wouldn’t be a species that would rise to the top and help control the populations and things would go wrong.

Since humans have a higher level of cognition, mental health is important to them. An individual may be physically healthy, but have mental health issues that result that can lead to physical problems like depression and illness. Since humans have the ability to reason and also create new inventions that can advance medicine, it is important for humans to have ways to improve their sense of well-being in life. Humans don’t have to chase their food like animals do, so the basic needs of food and shelter are met. Food, water and shelter are things humans can obtain relatively easily because of their high intellect. With these basic needs met, they can develop higher cognitive functions such as a sense of identity and self-esteem. Since mental well-being is important because humans think with their minds, sometimes mental unrest is a reason why humans seek medicine to help them with their well-being. People are motivated to move towards pleasure and away from pain, which includes emotional pain. The development of higher cognition in humans allows people to be self-aware of themselves and construct gender identities that can help organize the world, making it easier to navigate and less complex. The reason why society has gender is to help make it easier to classify humans. Instead of referring to humans with one term and trying to work out the differences, scientists try to separate humans based on similarities in appearance and behaviors. Scientists like to use a binomial classification system so the designation of humans into male and female based on their physical appearance (biological sex)  is developed, but it is society that gives people their sense of gender identity. Society likes to place certain behaviors as male or female because it makes it easier to classify people and it gives people a sense of where they belong. Humans like having a sense of belonging and self-worth because if there other lower needs are met, they will want to feel like they are appreciated in the world. This is why many people have such strong emotional attachments to values of society that may affect their emotional and mental well-being. Some people over time may discover that they do not fit into the societal behaviors attributed to gender identity and they may feel gender dissonance which is a feeling that the behaviors a person portrays is not what society expects of them. For example, a person who was born biologically sexed female may be expected by society to present a gender identity of female, but the person may not want to be that way, that person is not conforming to societal expectations of how they should behave and they are exhibiting gender dissonance. However, if an individual feels extreme discomfort over their biological sex and also hates the societal expectations of how they should present their gender identity because they were born female, that person is experiencing gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria often leads to depression and a sense of feeling like you are in the wrong body, but gender dissonance often leads to people exploring creative ways of self-expression. Many transgender people have gender dysphoria because their bodies do not match the gender identity they feel on the inside and they often feel extreme discomfort over their bodies. Gender dysphoria causes many transgender people to have a shaky sense of mental well-being that leads to depression and may cause them to have unhealthy ways to cope as they try to make their bodies look like the gender identity they want. Transgender people, although they transcend societal expectations of gender with their behavior, they are still limited by society. They want to express themselves as the gender identity they wish to be seen as and find a sense of who they truly are, but they are also constricted by society because people feel the need to belong and be accepted. An individual may believe in themselves, but they also need society to validate their identity so they can feel like they are part of something. People want others to accept them so they feel like there is a person who cares and it’s not only them feeling this way. We want to express our individuality, but we also want to be part of a group so people are often conflicted within themselves. It is especially hard for transgender people because they do not fit societal expectations of gender, but part of social transitioning is allowing others to see you as the opposite gender and hoping others validate you even though you are different.

In general, a transgender person is an individual who feels like their birth sex doesn’t match their gender identity. Gender dysphoria is often a feeling that results from the confusion, pain and sadness a person feels because they are struggling with their gender identity. Gender identity is more of a noun, a sense of how or who a person believes themselves to be: male, female, neither or both. Whereas gender dysphoria is more of an adjective to describe how people feel when they feel like they dislike their gender identity. Gender dissonance is also more of an adjective because it describes people who have gender expressions/ behaviors that are different from societal expectations. The difference between gender dissonance and gender dysphoria is that people who have gender dissonance are comfortable with their bodies, but enjoy expressing gender behaviors different from societal expectations whereas in gender dysphoria, a person feels extreme insecurities about their body and may want to change it because it doesn’t represent their gender identity. Transgender people who seek to change their bodies often experience a more positive mental well-being after medical transitioning. Since most transgender people experience intense gender dysphoria, many find it important to undergo surgery to help them feel like they are truly living. Although, not all transgender people decide to medically transition, many do. For those transgender people who don’t medically transition, they are often more comfortable with their bodies than the transgender people who want to transition. Those transgender people may be content to live their lives expressing the opposite gender without medically transitioning because they feel more of the feelings of gender dissonance. Transgender is an adjective to describe people whose gender identities differ from their birth sex and there are two types of transgender people: transgender male and transgender female. Both transgender males and females have various ranges of discomfort with their bodies, some may experience mild gender dissonance while others may experience intense gender dysphoria. A transgender male is a person who is biologically female, but has a gender identity of male while a transgender female is a person who is biologically male but has a gender identity of female.

Thank you so much Anita for helping me better understand who I am as a person. Talking with you helps me better understand myself. It’s great learning new things and hearing your advice. I think talking with you helps me better understand the framework of my thoughts and also allows me to question the perceptions I have which in turn allows me to break free from the stereotypes of society that limit me as I become more aware in my knowledge and exploration of gender identity. I think the more I delve into myself and talk things over, the more clarity I have about who I am and I realize that I am worth more than the stereotypes of society. I want to be healthy and not try to fit into a box of what society defines to be male or female. It is difficult though because I enjoy being male and I want society to accept me as male so sometimes I have to adopt the behaviors that make me appear more masculine so people will validate me as male. But I do not want to be constrained by the societal stereotypes and try to fit into them so much that I start to lose who I am as a person. Having a sense of belonging and acceptance is important, but also knowing that I shouldn’t sacrifice myself to become a person that I’m not just to fit into societal expectations of masculinity is a relief. It makes me feel like I’m developing my inner strength and although I still hear the inner critic and gender dysphoria, I feel much stronger than I have been in the past few months. I want to live and heal. I may have broken pieces, but that’s what makes life worthwhile. It’s the journey to pick up the broken pieces and work on the puzzle to become whole that allows you to find a sense of self, improve and grow as a person.