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Dear Ladybug:
“How can I be healthy for myself and for him”- you have to be willing to live apart from him, to not have him in your life at all.
You need him too much, willing to do anything and everything. You sound rational, but over time I learned that your use of logic is in the context of your desperation, meaning, you will think any thing that will keep him in your life.
The way I see it, you have this one vision and nothing else: him. You have to have him in your life. Nothing else matters. Giving him space, this is means to an end, keeping him in your life.
Got to take care of that desperation so that you can really think logically and act wisely.
anita