grannyweatherwax,

You said you are an anxious person with anger management issues and bouts of depression who works on self management by meditating, yoga, walks in the woods, exercising and the such.

You are dealing with several things in life that is causing you more anxiety such as your friend disappointing you.

My observation from what you shared is that you have this life long issue of anxiety prone to depression.  The friend issue is just a symptom of you trying to deal with life’s stresses.

You can continue to work on yourself using the tools you are already using, i.e. meditation, exercise and the like.

You may want to consider supplementing that with therapy to learn more coping skills and approaches.

Mark