Hi everyone,

It’s been almost a month since the incident I shared with you all, and I am still not finding peace from it all. It’s eating me up inside, and I don’t know why I can’t let it go. About a week ago, I felt fine and wasn’t thinking about it at all, but when I visited my boyfriend last weekend and had to see his roommate again, it triggered the feelings again. As I mentioned before, my boyfriend didn’t seem to care about the peck because he knew it wasn’t sexual or ill-intentioned, but I’m scared he doesn’t trust me even though he says he does. Last weekend we were at a party with his medical school friends, and he got jealous over something, which never happens (I’m usually the jealous one), which really upset me. I’m scared that me giving his friend a peck on the ear has made him not trust me. I asked him if he trusts me, and he says that he does but I just worry. I wish I could just forget all about the incident and move on from it but I can’t. I feel like such a terrible person because my lips touched someone else (even if it was an ear), and I’m scared our relationship will be changed forever from it. Do you think it’s possible for things to go back to normal? It seems like things are fine on my boyfriend’s end except that little bit of jealousy, but I can’t seem to forgive myself. Why do I feel like a cheater when I didn’t mean anything by it? The word “cheater” is haunting me, and whenever I see it, I think “oh that’s me,” but I would never do that to my boyfriend and I didn’t think giving his friend a peck on the cheek/ear  meant anything in the moment. I did it to be nice, and now I am paying for my actions. Am I just overthinking too much? I have always been a big overthinker, it’s terrible. One moment I’m laughing it off and tell myself you’re freaking out over kissing an ear, and then other times I feel so depressed over it. It’s okay if none of you know what to say, but I just had to let this all out. Thank you for taking the time to read it if you do.

~Christina