My goal is just to be heard and for me to hear anything he feels he needs to say.  I am open to him sharing the things that I do in the relationship that are frustrating or not healthy.  Three issues would be 1. is he feeling well?  depression?  and point out that I’ve noticed a decline in self care 2. Erectile Issue, is he open to finding out the cause? 3. A commitment talk, are we both in this for the long haul no matter our own personal issues and life difficulties.  Overall, I am feeling the need to be closer to him emotionally and to better understand his world and hopefully help him to better understand mine.