Dear Christina:

It is very clear to me that the kiss-on-the-ear is a non incident. What I mean by it, that all that massive affect it had on you is not about that event but about your past childhood experience that you are attaching to this non-incident.

It is not an incident for your boyfriend, it is not an incident for his roommate. What it is, at this point, is your obsession.

A great distress that you experienced as a child, probably during those six years, is now attached to this non-incident and is giving it life. Until you address the distress of childhood, it will keep showing up in this obsession and future ones.

Do you remember feeling angry at your father during those six years, at your stepmother at the time, her children? And if you do, do you remember what you did with that anger?

Maybe you tried to behave perfectly so that no one will notice how hurt and angry you were?

anita