Okay, well update…  We were able to do her taxes finally.  with her projected return (not as much as we had thought)  She should be able to pay off all credit bill except for one visa and her car.  We did open up an account for her at a credit union and closed her other bank account.  Our goal is to build her credit up and then she can refinance her car in 6 months for about $100 less per month with better rates and months.

I’m really trying to make it so she can survive on her own.  Unfortunately, even if she did get this job we’ve been waiting on and got paid in the middle of the pay range available.  I still down’ think she could afford and apartment and  her daily expenses.  I was really hoping that it would be better.

So for right now, I am just going to really try to focus on us and making things better.  She is really cracking down on her children and we are putting rules in affect around the house for all the kids, including chores for them.  Trying to make it a equal thing at our house.

Our 1 year anniversary of meeting each other is coming up next week.  I should feel excited and thrilled.  I just feel like it’s another day or week.  It really makes me wonder if this is what my ex felt like.  If she felt guilty and hurt for me because she knew how much I loved her and she didn’t feel that way in return.  Life is a cruel bitch sometimes.

back to my girlfriend.  We are going away for a night or two in a couple weeks.  I’m hoping that helps.

I really think though, once she gets this job and we can get her on a good budget so she knows what kind of expendable income she will have every month then we can make plans or goals.  then I will revisit my feelings and my girls feelings and how we are all doing.  If it hasn’t changed, then I will have to have a talk with her.  I’m not looking forward to that at all.  But If things don’t change, I know I can’t live like this anymore.  for me or my girls.  I feel like such an asshole.