Hi,

I go back and forth between being angry at my ex for how he is treating me / how he is behaving (and i know i’m just putting myself in victim mode) and wanting to hear from him and being hopeful. I know that I deserve someone who wants to be with me, and I don’t know what he wants (maybe two weeks of silence means he’s a) respecting my space or b)moved on and doesn’t want me).

I started typing out a message to him yesterday, but then deleted it before sending it. I guess he saw it and sent a message. I haven’t opened it yet since he can see when I have read it and i’m not sure what to say or what I want.

I feel neglected by the group of friends, they do invite me to things, but the dynamic is different, even though i am isolating myself as i have not attended events because I do not want to see my ex. I know that I should just go and who cares if he is there, but it’s not that easy and i’m not sure if its worth it. I feel cheated on like they have won him and i lost him and i’m mad and angry, jealous and sad often.

I’m feeling so confused in myself that i’m not sure what to do. Be friendly? Block and Delete him and make it awkward? Ignore him? Try to be in his life again? I’m afraid.